I've Laid My Burden Down

Well today has had some ups and downs. Overall I guess I'm not real stoked about this whole running situation. Let's be honest, I love running. But it's pretty hard for me to stay positive about it. I've ran, maybe 10 miles this week total, not even a lot and my shin splints are just killing me. Now this might not seem like a big deal, but it's stopping me from enjoying something I love doing, and that's how it's always been for me. Tomorrow I'm gonna run in my jingas, maybe taking a day off from fighting my gigantic nikes will feel a little better. I pretty much feel like a bitch though, my friend has osteonecrosis in his knees and here I am complaining about my shins hurting, that's pretty dumb.

I hope I can make running not hurt, Barbero seems to think I should be fast in track, maybe if I could make it through runs alright I could be.

I'm Gassed

Well, I just got done running, I think I ran 2.5-3 miles in about 25 minutes, give or take. probably more like 2.5 in 28 or something terrible.

Whatever. I feel really good right now, out on the run my shins were hurting a little bit, but nothing too bad, I think once I get back into the swing of things I'll get the kinks ironed out. Track starts in exactly 7 days, I haven't run hardly at all over winter. It's ok. I'm doing track this year because I think some of the younger kids in the distance corner kinda need me, aaaand more importantly, because Sarah is doing it. Even though I think part of why she's doing it is because I'm doing it haha. This year in track I'm endeavoring to just have fun with it, I'm not gonna work thaaat hard, just hard enough not to embarrass anybody.

I haven't been able to read Moby Dick for the past few days, my grandma's house has some mold in it or something and helping take care of her has been messing up my eyes pretty bad, like pink eye kinda symptoms, but not pink eye... pretty lame. I was gonna try and read last night but as soon as I had the book open I had to put it down. Lame.

Uh... after Moby Dick I have a whole list of things to read on my shelf. I think the first one I'm going to tackle is Bambi. Yep, Bambi. I have an ooold copy of it, given to "Leroy", christmas of '44. It's an awesome book, I don't really know the story too good and I'm sure the Disney version is bogus anyway, so I'm pretty pumped.

Help I'm Alive.

I'm still here, haven't posted in a while, I've been busy with other things, and doing real writing on real paper.

I'm probabl not gonna post again until I'm done with Moby Dick.

Seven Tigers

I'll be honest with you, I'm feelin' kinda down right now. Just sorta helpless. I hate that feeling.
Someone is having a really hard time right now, and it just kills me. I've said it before, but I'd be a terrible therapist, helping people is really hard on me. I wish I could just make things better, I wish I could make it all go away.

I wish girls would just be nice to each other, I wish little brothers would just quit being idiots. I don't see this happening.

I guess I kinda try and stay positive, people don't realize this but it sure ain't that easy for me. It's pretty damn hard to be honest. I want to make people happy, I don't really put much effort into making myself happy, I figure that will just come.

It won't always get worse, someday things will look up. Life is all about trials and tribulations, it can't always be easy, but it won't always get worse. We have so much to live for, it's hard for me to understand how people can get too upset about things. And it's not like I look down on them because I don't understand, I really wish I could understand, if I could understand maybe I could help...

It's real easy to ask; why? why me? why ____? how come this is? etc. I don't really believe in that line of thought. Happiness is a lot like math. If you're down and focus on being down, and the things that are wrong then you're just going to be more upset. A negative added to a negative just makes a bigger negative. If you try and come up with positive things then you're original negativity can shrink.

I'll go ahead and demonstrate:
Con- my arm don't work.
Now this would be a big deal to a lot of people, a lot of people would have trouble dealing with this, but does it really matter? No.

Let's see why I should be happy instead of sad.
I have a beautiful girlfriend who I love very much, I drive a sweet truck, I have a family that loves me... I could go on.

See, with all these things going right in my life, why focus on the things going wrong?

Honestly, Sarah alone is enough of a reason for me to be happy, whatever shit that goes wrong in my life doesn't really matter in the long run. I just wish more people kinda thought that way.

Ghost Chants

Someday I'll go and see the world. I want to stay in a log cabin. I want to swim in a sea. I want to extend my arms and embrace everything this earth has to offer.

I want to write a book, but I can't write fiction. Fiction is inherently non-truth. I couldn't write non-truth and share it with people. I think I could make short stories; short stories about animals. Stories about animals don't have to be perfectly true to history, but they can be realistic. Animal activities are very varied, and can have a lot of meaning behind them.

If I ever get a notebook I'm gonna start writing in it. I'm internetting for one right now, I'm not sure what I want yet.

I ended up odering this:

http://www.moleskine.com/catalogue/classic/soft/ruled_soft_notebook__extra_large.php

I Throw Rocks At Waterfalls.

I've come up with some rules for life.

1- When in a group discussion, if you don't know something is right, don't act like it is.

2- When in group discussion, don't interrupt anybody then apologize and offer for them to continue, you're not sorry and you know it.

3- When in group discussion, know when you've said more than enough.

4- Try to be nice to everybody.

5- Don't take yourself too seriously.

If people in my English class followed these rules I'd be a much happier guy.

Also, I got pulled over yesterday for absolutely no reason. Like, no joke, the cop pulls me over for driving safely... this is what we pay them for apparently..

It's because this old thing is loud I think.



Also, here's more good music. I like sharing good music.

A True Friend Is Hard To Find.

My grandma is doing ok after her surgery, it was pretty hard for me to go and see her with all this shit hooked up to her. It's hard to explain, but even though I know she's old, I still hate to see her like this.

In other news, I'm not a big fan of very many kids. Too many people have children these days.



Also, this is really amazing, we could learn a lot from these people.



and, even though I hate Jack White, this is worth a view.



And now for some real music.